Aragir Norde/Journal
Unless otherwise specified, all text is in Elvish.
Delbellis
[17-07-2021]
"Be it through martial arts, surprising excellence in the brewing of potions [note: further information might be favourable for research] or her seemingly calm demeanor that could potentially diffuse a tense situation within the group, she has so far proven to be benevolent. Even though she has been a tad overexcited in the past. I am not quite certain about her true motives still- but that makes two of us, does it not?"
[01-08-2021]
The stubbornness that she showed recently came unexpectedly.
"When I saw this awful wound on her it gave me such a fright that I thought she would not make it for a moment, yet she seemed surprisingly vigorous still. She has shown me a different side of her today, and I fear I may have misjudged her a little. There seems to be a strong sense of solidarity that I cannot help but admire, even though my own nerves got the better of me."
[28-08-2021] (Written during Session 17 )
"For one reason or another, her luck is such that she continues to bear the brunt of our battles, and yet afterwards she does not quite seem as affected as one would expect when facing such ordeals. Is this what it means to have the strong mind of a monk?
Though her optimism seems to be a good catalyst for building the trust this group will need in its path forward, I feel I should be vigilant that her spirit remains in good health as well."
[ Up to Session 23 ]
"Though frightening to fly with, she continues to be remarkably reliable. It was her skills that got us the Volentis Crystal in the end, after all, and she handled those men at the harbour surprisingly well, too.
Throughout all the information we have shared as a group, she seemed surprisingly open minded. Perhaps this is due to her origins, which she and Cerrule discussed briefly among their various theories on current affairs. The two of them seemed to bond a little through the creation of potions.
I have found that her talents for brewing potions are quite promising; The concoction that she has, undoubtedly in jest, named after me, could in fact prove to be an invaluable aid in my research. Though I believe I must be vigilant. She will make an alcoholic of me yet...
As far as flaws go, I've found the glaring weakness that is her proclivity to be drawn to what seems to be jewelry. Especially the kind that shines. It rids her of her wits in a way that I have never seen before, and I have to admit that it is as fascinating as it is concerning. It seems I yet have much to learn about aarakocra. If it is, in fact, an inherently aarakocran trait. Perhaps I should do some research ere I offend her with any of my inquiries."
[ After Session 23 ]
"From her visions I could tell that she has traveled with determination. Her bravery continues to impress me, though at times I wonder if it is not an invitation to harm. I believe we must do our best to protect her."
[28th of April, year 444]
"I know by now that her unique insight into the celestial is not to be underestimated. Both she and Cerrule seem to have some relevance into something that is much bigger than us. I must find out how exactly this is all connected with each other. Though as of yet I have no reason to doubt her cooperation. In fact, she seems to be surprisingly attuned to her allies' state of being. Something that I did not expect could calm even my own nerves."
Cynic
[17-07-2021]
His feelings about Cynic are ambivalent at best. There are times where their thinking aligns, and he can sense some connection that pleases him, but at other times he strongly disagrees with the choices he makes.
"Regardless of his eminently poor decisions, some of his actions seem to contradict his displayed aloofness. This leads me to think he is easily misled rather than a rogue at heart. I fail to see where we could possibly see eye to eye, but I was pleasantly surprised to observe him supporting Delbellis in combat.
In a way, his decisive nature has also on occasion saved me from Cerrule's barrage of questions and comments, and I wish I had had the fortitude to thank him for that."
[01-08-2021]
Cynic's choices continue to stand opposite of what Aragir believes in.
"After questioning him he confessed to me that he had made a blood oath to join the Getaways, and for but a moment I lost my temper. How can this man be such a fool?
For his own good, I would like to believe he was tricked.”
[28-08-2021] (Written during Session 17 )
"Despite his seemingly rash decision-making that, on occasion, reminds me of that of a young boy rather than a man, I continue to see elements of a more remarkable side coming to the surface. His graceful descent into Myrneas spurred a hint of envy in me, and his sleight of hand to retrieve the vestige was equally impressive. I would not have known his intent were it not for my already present suspicion.
However foolish it may have been of him to try out such a potentially dangerous artifact without knowing the consequences, his curiosity is something I can relate to.
Perhaps he will make a fine candidate for future research."
[ Up to Session 23 ]
"I have both discussed with him his involvement with the Getaways and shared the vestige for my research, and I can safely say that both results were more or less satisfactory. While I had preferred that he diverged from his current path, I cannot blame him for crossing boundaries to discover the unknown. It yet pleases me that we were able to come to some form of an understanding.
While I cannot know if that which we have gleaned from the vestige is the full extent of its power, it will regardless take me into a new direction. Cynic was surprisingly cooperative in this experiment, and perhaps I have underestimated his academic leanings. This idea was reinforced when he expressed interest in my own knowledge and research, though I wish I had had the fortune to share it when I was still blessed by my ignorance. Nonetheless, I made a promise, and I must fulfill it.
Every time I am starting to believe he has matured, however, he shows me yet again that he is still but a boy, easily led by impulse. This much was obvious when he nearly killed an Academy student, and felt the need to waste his energy on humiliating a man in public in Brassdorf. Though I will attempt to refrain from passing my judgement, and instead give guidance however I can."
[ After Session 23 ]
"He shared some of his motivations and history with us today, and seemed much more willing to do so than I had originally suspected. It sounded like he had a troublesome past, not unlike most in this group. This person he is looking for. He referred to him as a father-figure. Whether that means that he looks to this person as if he were his father, or that his kind does not have offspring the way most of us do, I do not know. It seems we both have to learn more about aasimar."
[28th of April, year 444]
"Admittedly, the contagiousness of his youthful vigor and tendency for playful rivalry felt reminiscent of my own youth in Illerius. Surely, there are some risks to allowing this type of behaviour, though I can personally attest to its benefits, as it has taught me some important skills in the past. He has shown some impressive feats during our last battle, and I am somewhat eager to see more of it. Though perhaps he should try to curb his temper a little."
Cerrule
[17-07-2021]
Though her supportive nature continues to give him some sense of trust, her inquisitive and somewhat confronting behaviour towards him as of late strangely both intrigue and intimidate him.
"There are many quips to be had about which of us is more suspicious than the other, but what truly interests me is what drives her so that she can no longer see me as an individual, but as the institution I come from.
Of course, some animosity towards an establishment both so famous and enigmatic is inevitable. However, Cerrule does not strike me as an individual who would seek to destroy the balance the Academy has protected for centuries. Her occasionally abrasive tendencies can make it rather difficult to form coherent thoughts, and, admittedly, it was more fun when I was not the objective of her scorn.
Perhaps her personality, too, is like the wind."[01-08-2021]
"When confronted about her strong distaste for the Academy, she gave me an answer that I found difficult to fully believe. Though it might very well be that the Academy has been compromised somehow, how can I truly believe her when she tells me her judgements are solely based on her dreams?
Though the idea of this proud establishment floating in the sky is intriguing, and not completely out of the realm of possibilities, I would have to make a better assessment of her claimed clairvoyance before I am ready to accept what she has told me.
It is strange that she would think it is the responsibility of the Academy to intervene with the myriad amount of problems that occur on the field, however. It has ever been our pledge to record, learn and prevent.
Nevertheless, it was a pleasant change of events when she calmed down, and I daresay at some moments we might even have been on the same page."
[28-08-2021] (Written during Session 17 )
"It seems she is starting to learn how to cast her objections towards the Academy aside when she interacts with me, and it is then that I once again see glimpses of what I assume is her contrastingly pacifist nature. Of course, I realise that it is exactly because of this nature that she feels compelled to act out against the things she strongly disagrees with, even when I yet fail to see the connection.
She was right to call me out on my hasty response towards the spectre that ambushed us. I admit that I was frightened, and she managed to bring me back to my senses. I might not have learned the things I know now had it not been for her."
[ Up to Session 23 ]
"I was, in some ways, shook when Weylin visibly and audibly recognised her. Though she later shared with us the details of her dreams, I cannot shake the feeling that it is more than mere dreams. My theories, as well as Weylin's memories and acknowledgement of her, would certainly support this notion. If she has indeed come from another time, then perhaps she could prove to be invaluable in my research. The things she has shared thus far prove that an academic exchange is long overdue, though I admit I am reluctant.
Another matter that I must note, is the sheer tenacity in which she expresses her beliefs. As it often leaves me bereft of the proper words when it happens, I can say I am both impressed and frightened by it. Never in my years would I have thought to confront Headmaster Garr like this, yet it seems she has won at least an ounce of respect from him.
How can one be undeniably candid and enigmatic both?
I would like to adjust my earlier theory, and state that her person is more like a manifestation of fire and wind. Quick, intense, perhaps a little hot-headed at times, and at other times endearingly ditzy. Is this typical for her kind?"
[ After Session 23 ]
"I have to wonder if the vision I shared with her this night showed me more than I deserved to know. To spend one's youth in such dread and confusion. I would say I can't imagine what it must be like, but for that brief moment I could. This hopeless feeling, does she remember it? Carry it with her as she searches for answers? I believe I am starting to grasp the fervor with which she expresses her worries and opinions."
[28th of April, year 444]
"If I am to believe what Delbellis has told us, there is something unique about Cerrule that yet exceeds our understanding. For mine own eyes, Jago simply disappeared from existence. Though if Cerrule truly did something to him it is likely that she still maintains some manner of connection to whatever allowed her to travel to our realm -or time- in the first place. This can both be very enlightening, and very dangerous."
Cassius
[ Up to Session 23 ]
"Though I have no reason to distrust him, helpful as he has been to us in the past, I can tell he has yet to share all that he knows with us. It is to be expected in his line of work, though I must admit that I am tempted to find out more nonetheless.
Interpersonal growth is not my forte, though it will, in time, teach me to read his person for information he is not willing to give verbally. Reading his mind is, therefore, counterproductive for now, as it will have a negative impact on our relationship."
Kaimos
[ Up to Session 23 ]
"Excited though I was to have another academically minded person in our group, his presence has also raised some questions. I have spent many years working for the Scarlet Academy, and yet I know so little of his division. What operations could be so sensitive that even a long time contributor such as myself is not made aware of their existence?
Especially given my recent findings, I tire of the secrecy, despite my acknowledgement of its significance.
Though as of yet, I believe I have no reason to worry. He is quite adept at thinking on his feet, and on occasion it seems, a much needed mediator whenever I and Cerrule cannot come to an understanding. He could be a valuable asset to our team, and I would be somewhat disappointed to see him go if the Academy leads him elsewhere."
Personal Notes
[28-08-2021] (Written during Session 17 )
"I can see that the group is starting to grow a little closer, through no particular effort of my own; Cooperation seems to go a little more smoothly, there is more communication and, quite frankly, I did not at all expect them to stand behind me when we faced my brother.
By the Gods, I am starting to like them. This group, so interesting and diverse it could represent the very essence of the Adventurer's Guild that enchanted me.
I feel I should be glad for this. After all, we cannot possibly hope to go on a lengthy journey in the company of those we cannot trust.
And yet I feel conflicted.
What does it mean to trust? Is it possible to trust whilst keeping them at a safe distance? Will they be able to trust me if I cannot let them in?
I am well aware that it takes trust to gain it, but even should this path lead to a fortunate end, they will be gone long before my time in this world is over. And so the budding connection I feel with these individuals is one I defensively wish to discard before it is too late.
I have never quite understood how my kin deals with this when they choose to let in those who are shorter-lived than us, though now that I am in the middle of this dilemma the wish for counsel has never felt greater.
Alduin, do you still see those you have lost in your memories at night?"
[April 26th, year 444]
"Alduin,
Spotting your likeness along the wall to my dorm recently spurred a hint of sadness in me where there previously was pride. While I do not wish to tarnish your memory so, I believe that I must find you. I must free Guildmaster Terrance Hylbrand so that he can share with me what he knows of your whereabouts.
Perhaps to make sense of all that has happened in recent weeks, or perhaps because this feeling has always been there, hidden from my view that was obscured by arrogance.
For I can only describe as arrogance that which has kept me from learning many uncomfortable truths. About the former Five Wise, and about me.
For all those years I have worked to improve the world. To find the truth. To lift mankind to new heights. Though I now know that I am no different from those we collectively condemn, and I yet struggle to form words from the chaos it has sown in my mind. The fact that my life's work is now gone only adds another nail to my proverbial coffin.
And now a quandary presents itself; Am I deserving of scorn, following in the footsteps of those who sought to corrupt this world? Will my legacy be that of destruction and death? Or are the Five Wise not what we have been made to believe? I struggle to find the connection between their original ideals and the choices they ultimately made. Was there perhaps another entity involved?
I feel like I could fill entire pages with all the thoughts that race through my mind. Alas, time will not allow it.
My mentor. My brother. Whatever it is that truly spirited you away, I hope that you will one day share your thoughts with me once again.
Please wait for me..."
[ After Session 23 ]
"It is clear that the others have had a rougher past than I, and they have spent much fewer years in this world to boot. And yet, why do I feel like I am the only one who can't seem to get used to the ongoing trouble and terror that finds us every step of the way? Are the others truly not afraid, or just incredibly skilled at hiding it?
In some ways, it makes me feel as though I am an impostor. In the end, I am but a scholar as opposed to the seasoned warrior my father was. Perhaps he was right all along.
And yet, I must continue. I cannot well let my discomfort allow for my life's work to be misused. I must correct any wrongs it might have wrought."
[28th of April, year 444]
"After everything that has happened, I had expected to be more on edge, though I am strangely content right now. Perhaps it was because I finally had a good night's rest, or because of the excitement of my successes and findings in our last battle."Logs
August 7th, 388 - Ever since the failure of experiment 557 on the 25th of june 388, I continue to see glimpses of what could be. I know not what exactly has altered my mind so, but I am reluctant to tell Alduin. What if he worries about my health and forces me to leave the program? I cannot imagine a different life. Not anymore. I am convinced that this is what I was put on this world to do.
December 20th, 388 - The hallucinations have been getting worse lately, and it has started to interfere with my research. On the bad days, I cannot always tell what is real. Perhaps it is time to tell him.
December 22nd, 388 - I was certain that Alduin would remove me from the program after I had finally confided in him about my recent struggles, and for a moment I am sure he said as much. Yet in a strange turn of events, the moment I refused to accept it, it was as if he had never said it in the first place. It concerns me as much as I am relieved. We both agreed that I should spend some time off work for a while. Perhaps I shall visit my father again.
October 15th, 390 - After an extended time without progress, I am loath to admit that I simply stopped telling Alduin the truth. Our work together is too important to me. With every bit of progress we make, I feel like we are on the verge of an even grander discovery. This is what I live for. At the very least I have found that the hallucinations are less potent when I take a moment to calm my mind.
January 3rd, 421 - Long have I thought my visions to be hallucinations, but I know now that they can be manipulated. This could very well be the key to further my research, though I must learn to control it first. Luckily, most of my peers do not seem to realise when it happens.
March 20th, 434 - I fear I may have accidentally killed a student's pet cat, and she will never know it. It is the first time I had attempted to use my ability on a living creature, after all.
I had only intended for it to miscalculate the jump from one shelf to another. A fleeting thought made me wonder what would happen had the window next to it been open, and suddenly it was so. I yet have a long way to go before I can safely use it on others, lest they get hurt unintentionally.
I am sorry, little Pepper.
October 9th, 440 - In favour of other research I have stopped recording my findings on my personal affliction so much, though today I am happy to record somewhat of a breakthrough, as it were. It appears that the further a possibility deviates from what is current, the less control I have over it. As long as I stick to possibilities within acceptable boundaries, I can even maintain enough control to choose one of various possible outcomes in a given situation. Not only will this aid me in my research further, it can effectively turn anything in my favour. It is somewhat taxing, though, and I cannot yet do it more than once every three days without risk.
September 23rd, 442 - The more I reflect on the images that I see with my mind and the control I have over them, the more I realise that I am opening my view to something that has been among us all along. Endless possibilities inhabiting the same space in every conceivable moment. Could this mean that the potential to cross realms through time and space is still buried deep within us? Or have I truly altered my being to exceed mortal limitations?
April 8th, 444 - So far it appears that no one has had any suspicions towards the use of my abilities. I assume this is good, for I will need them to continue my research. I believe that I may have devised a way to involve spell-weaving with this as well, but the outcome is too chaotic for practical use as of yet. I must conduct more experiments. Though it has little use for my original theory, I consider it a personal pleasure. Perhaps if progress is good, it will prove to be highly beneficial in combat.
April 11th, 444 - I yet struggle to determine whether the potential realities are just that; potential, or in fact very real happenings. By altering the outcome in a given moment, am I making something that was but a possibility tangible, or have I compressed two realities and forced them to cross over? Will one reality cease to exist in favour of the other when we make choices? Or does an infinite number of realities continue to exist simultaneously? And how does it relate to other realms inhabiting this space? Is there a way to separate them?
April 17th, 444 - The past few days have proceeded surprisingly well, even with the increased frequency in which I have altered my newfound crewmate's actions. Perhaps this is because the nature of these actions was insignificant and small. If they have noticed anything of my little experiments, they are doing a good job of hiding it.
Perhaps it is time to move on to greater challenges, but for now I must rest.
April 23rd, 444 - When altering Weylin's actions I could see that he retained some of his old memories, and was aware that the outcome had changed. Could this be proof that the various possible realities are in fact happening all at once, or was it simply my own memories bleeding into his mind? There indeed exists but a fine line between consciousness and transcendence. Do we all possess the innate ability to shape reality without even knowing it? Locked away by our own consciousness? Or has it been diluted along with our people when we left our celestial days behind us?
I hope I have not given away more towards Weylin than I can afford…
April 25th, 444 - For better or worse, suffering an unprecedented stupor has taught me that losing control is not at all times disastrous. While I regretfully cannot remember the latter part of the last evening, what I do remember was that for that brief period my surroundings were blissfully straightforward. It appears that certain toxins have the ability to suppress my abilities as well.
Aragir_Norde